Coming to Terms With Relationship Breakups

In some situations, both parties can feel the relationship breaking up before it actually happens. Although this does not make it easy, at least they usually have some inkling as to why it occurred in the aftermath. In other situations, the breakup happens unexpectedly. One party seems shocked that the other would reject them. Does this mean that the one doing the breaking up is just a cold hearted and uncaring person? Or is there something more involved here.   

Before You Consider Getting Back with Your Ex 

Just because things happened suddenly does not mean they are doomed to stay as they are. You may still be able to salvage what is left. The first step is understanding what happen. Before you can consider getting back with your ex, you have to understand the “why.” Was it really as sudden as it appeared, or were you keeping your eyes closed? There are usually tell tale signs of unhappiness in a relationship, how did you miss them?  

First, was your partner honest with you in their feelings and gripes? Did they share their issues with you and give you a fair opportunity to fix them? If so, then you probably understand the rest and can begin to figure things out. If not, then ask yourself, were they really being honest with you?  

Just because you were the one caught off guard does not mean it is entirely your fault. There could be honesty and communication issues on both sides.  Relationship breakups occur for a reason. Before you can try to build your bond back up, talk to your ex and find out what went wrong and why they never told you. It is only fair that communication is open on both ends. If you do not know there is a problem then you cannot fix it. 

Dealing with a Breakup Then Piecing It All Back Together 

It is done and you have begun to figure out why you were so surprised when things ended. Whether you were simply ignoring the problem or if your partner was keeping it inside, communication is key to fixing what has been broken. Talk to them and try to come to a compromise and understanding. If both parties are willing to listen and open up when they need to from here on out, then things can work.  

Getting back with your ex does not mean you do all the sacrificing. Let them know they need to come to you when there are issues. Explain how surprised you were and how you were unaware of what was occurring. If the problem was on your end, apologize for not seeing what was coming and work hard to avoid doing so in the future. 

You may not piece it back together right away. One side may want to see that the other means what they say before risking their heart again.  A relationship is an investment. Just as you would not invest your hard earned money into stock that has proven to decline, you cannot expect someone to immediately jump on the prospect of investing their time and energy into a flawed relationship.  In time, they will see you are sincere as you stick to your word and improve where it is needed. 

Take the time to understand your relationship trouble. Always be open with your partner so that neither one of you is blindsided by a breakup. If you want to try getting back with your ex, make sure you are both ready. In time, you can patch things up as long as you both are honest and up front with each other. 

By Gene Alias   

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