Don't Play the Fool: Is Your Ex Leading You On?

P.T. Barnum said it best with his famous quote, “there is a sucker born every minute.” No one likes to play the fool, but when it comes to love, many people find themselves in such a position. How did you get there? You were only following your heart, you say? Emotions can get the better of us. This is especially true when you have one goal in mind: winning back your ex.   

Hooking up again may not be as wonderful as it sounds. If you are researching ways to get your ex back, be aware of the warning signs. Do you constantly feel like any day now, they will make that phone call or show up on your front porch, begging for your company? Do they still dictate aspects of your life to you and influence your decisions just as they did when you were together? 

If any of this applies to you, read it as warning signs. Do not allow yourself to be trapped in a cycle that will only end in emotional pain. Let the healing begin right away and get over your ex. Do you still think things might work out? If so, read on. 

Know if your Ex is Leading You On 

It may be very difficult to tell the difference between honest interest and an attempt to lead you on, especially if you are blinded by love. Look for the warning signs. First, do not fall for the intimacy illusion. Does your ex like get frisky every now and again? Do they get very clingy, even on a less intimate level, but much more than a friend relationship would warrant?  Often in these situations, the ex will initiate physical contact then cut it off when you bring up discussion of getting back together. 

Does your ex-beloved still contact you with requests for favors and help, even though they are seeing someone else? If so, turn away and do not allow your ex to lead you on by making you feel needed when they are only trying to get things out of you with no intention of getting together. This usually becomes even more obvious when you request a little help from them. They may turn you away without a care for your well being or feelings. 

Getting Back with Your Ex May Mean Drawing Boundary Lines  

Your ex needs to know they cannot continue to treat you like a significant other without the commitment. Do not be afraid to tell them no once in a while. As the old saying goes, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? That may be exactly what they are doing. The best thing you can do in these situations is stand up for yourself.  Your affection and devotion is valuable and you should not waste it on just anyone. Especially someone who will not commit to you. This may make them think twice when they realize they risk losing you. 

Knowing how to win your ex back can be a complicated process. It is possible they may not be certain what they want, either. Do not turn things into an argument by assuming your ex is leading you on. Instead, draw boundary lines. They do not want to be with you? Fine, then that also means they need to back off of the affection and favors. They do not need to know about your relationships with others, either. You are a free person and can see whomever you want to see. If they do not like that, then they can try to win you back! 

By Gene Alias   

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