Here Today Gone Tomorrow: On Again Off Again Love

Not everyone approaches love in the same way.  Perhaps to you, it means a solid and steady relationship with one person.  Something that is not easily discarded and is meant to withstand obstacles in the long term. Your partner, on the other hand, may feel an on again off again relationship is an acceptable situation. This can create huge problems for both parties and should be addressed immediately.

Coping with Relationship Commitment

Some people have a hard time with commitment.  They might become afraid of getting hurt, so when things get heavy, they turn tail and flee. This may seem hurtful and selfish, but they may not mean it that way. It could be an unhealthy defense mechanism that their emotions put into place due to some past relationship issues. Dealing with a breakup is hard, but dealing with a breakup every month can grow positively tedious. It may be time to have a serious conversation and set some solid rules for your timid partner. If they cannot stick around, then it is time to end it now. It may sound harsh, but is it fair that one person is always left in the emotional dust because the other cannot stay in one place?

Other Reasons for On Again Off Again Relationships 

There are those out there who simply feel the need to be in a relationship. It does not matter whom it is with, as long as they are not alone. This is very unhealthy. If you suspect you are involved in a situation like this, it is time for a heart to heart talk with your partner. In this sort of relationship, dealing with a breakup is your better bet than dealing with a loveless partnership.

This may sound terribly cold, but some people simply figure that being in a relationship is better than being in none. It may have nothing to do with love. Perhaps it is a status symbol thing; they would hate to be thought of as “alone.” Perhaps it is purely for entertainment purposes. I mean hey, if you are with someone, you are often guaranteed something to do on Friday night. A great relationship tip for this situation is, simply put: end it.  Unless you enjoy being used for someone’s entertainment, it is time to move on.

Never sell yourself short. Just because your partner thinks an on again off again relationship is acceptable does not mean you must endure it. If you are searching for a real commitment let your significant other know, and explain to them your own set of rules.  Asking your lover for a solid, steady relationship is hardly asking for the world, especially if you have been together for a while. Many other people would not deal with someone who constantly leaves and comes back.  Harsh as it may sound, if they are not in it for the long haul, then it is time to start packing!

By Gene Alias   

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