How to Get Back Together With Your Ex Without Losing Your Mind

Getting an ex back is not the easiest thing to do. Especially if harsh words have been spoken or problems existed in the relationship. Before attempting to pursue an old flame, consider the reasons for the break up and what your future with them might be like. If you still feel strongly you want to be with this person, consider these tips on how to get your ex back without sacrificing your dignity or your sanity.  

Open Up the Path to Winning Back Your Ex 

This can be the most difficult step in the entire process, but you must tell your former significant other, with complete and  total honesty, that you have a desire to be with them long term and make things work. It is quite possible communication will play a big part in the relationship’s deterioration. Naturally, building up that communication will help construct a solid basis on which to build your second beginning with this person you care so dearly about.  

Do not read this as you must contact them constantly. That is exactly what you should not do. If you want to get your ex back now, you must start by expressing what is necessary and allow them to consider your words. Do not go in blind. Instead, prepare yourself. I assure you, it will not sound scripted and the words will mean just as much whether you wrote them two days ago or are coming up with them on the fly. 

Here comes the hard part. Say the things you should have said. If you are trying to figure out how to get back together without saying how you feel, then your attempt is doomed from the start. They need to know how you feel with pure honesty.  Express to them you are willing to give it your all, perhaps conjure up your fondest memories.  No matter what, be honest and be deep!

Getting an Ex Back Means You Want to be Their Partner, Not Their Stalker 

Now comes the difficult waiting period. The words have been said, or written, and the ball is in their court, so to speak.  No matter how badly you want to, you must allow them space and time. Did you used to walk a different route home just t stop in at the shop they work at each day? Well don’t.  At least, do not go out of your way. If you encounter each other in passing, and you had other reasons (like actual shopping) to stop at their place of business, then by all means. You are adults, no need to treat it like a tragic high school break up. 

However, this is time for you both to put things in perspective. They will see you are still living your life without them.  You may ask, “How do you get your ex back if you do not go out of your way to see them?”  You may be on their mind more than you know, and more than you will allow yourself to believe. Give them space to figure out their own path and they may realize you were an ideal companion to have along on the journey through life. 

Slowly Filling the Void while You Figure Out How to Get Back Together 

Find a new hobby or volunteer your time at a local animal shelter or homeless shelter or whatever organization you feel strongly about. Not only will this fill all those empty hours without your ex, but also it will fill them with something positive! The busier you make yourself, the less time you will leave for moping about or practicing less healthy alternatives, like heavy drinking. 

Finally, remember, just because you know how to get back together with an ex does not necessarily mean you should. Take your time, even if your ex comes to you, begging to be taken back. Do not allow yourself to be a “back up date.” You deserve better. Instead, maybe start out as friends, or begin your relationship a few rungs lower than it was before. Take your time and let things build up again. There was obviously something amiss because it ended once, and that could be an indication of much deeper problems. Getting an ex back is not easy nor is it a fast process, but it can be done. Make sure it is the right thing to do, and the rest will fall into place. 

By Gene Alias   

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