The Family Effect: Winning an Ex Back Against the Odds

It may feel like the odds are stacked against you. For whatever reason, his or her family has always loathed your presence. Their mother would give you that awkward, I-don’t-like-you-but-I-will-pretend smile. Perhaps their father always had a snide remark or two to say when they thought you could not hear. The few family gatherings you attended were full of dirty looks. You felt like the outcast, still you toughed it out for your boyfriend or girlfriend.   

Now, the worst has happened. You two are broken up and you want to know so badly how to win your ex back. Deep down you know his family is probably happy. They hated you from the beginning. Whether you said something or did something they disapproved of, or if they simply did not like the way you looked. Surely his or her family has a great influence on your ex’s decisions. It would appear you are outnumbered this time. 

How dire your situation is really depends on how your ex truly feels. If you want to know how to win your ex back, you have to first learn how to deal with breaking up and figuring things out. Make sure you allow ample time for you to both get some space and consider what has happened between you.  When the time is right, discuss what went wrong. In the meantime, understand the family factor may have the final say. 

If your ex truly loves you, then you have nothing to worry about. Sure, that sounds simple but considering you just broke up, this does not seem likely. You need to find this part out for yourself. Besides, in the end, there is no point in getting back with an ex if they do not love you to begin with. If their feelings are strong, then they will not care what their family thinks of you. 

On the other hand, if they are still undecided or truly unsure how they feel, their family may be able to sway them. Sadly, there may not be much you can do. Refrain from petty arguments or insults towards their relatives, this will only make you look much worse. If the family wants to paint you as the bad guy or girl, lashing out and acting childish will only make this a reality in your ex’s eyes. 

How you conduct yourself after the breakup will greatly influence your ex’s opinion of you, even if their family says different. Just as you should avoid speaking ill or spreading rumors about your ex and his or her family, you should also avoid other bad behaviors. Do not stalk your ex, allow them their space and time. Much as it may irk you to know that mommy or daddy are saying all kinds of nasty things about you, doing something creepy or malicious will add credit to their comments and ruin your chances of winning back your ex. 

Do not go out of your way to be exceptionally and unusually nice to his or her family either. Sucking up will get you nowhere. You will look fake and they will call you out on it, if not directly then to your ex. You want to look honest and straightforward and pretending to like the family is not the way to do that. 

What you should do is stay away and allow your ex space. Remain cordial, even if you encounter one of their meddling family members. However, do not go out of your way to suck up. Act like yourself and be polite. Your actions will speak much louder than their words. If you want to win back an ex, you have to stop worrying about what they are being told and only worry about what you do and say. 

By Gene Alias   

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